The Woodland Hills Institute Annual Weenie-Roast & Bonfire

Announcing the Traditional Woodland Hills Institute Weenie-Roast With Bonfire and Possible Fireworks! 2014 Edition

---

Plans are underway for another
gala traditional Weenie-Roast at the Institute, and this one
promises to bring 'em in three-to-a-mule!

As always, the Weenie-Roast will take place on the lawn of dear old Stranger's Duffle Hall, held in fond memory by generations of WHI Fellows,  and which, it will be recalled, was built with moneys found in a bus station by a Fellow in years past, and named after the source of funding.

---

The Schedule

The Date of the Weenie-Roast was set after consultation with the Astrology Department (of the
recently-inaugurated Division of New  Age studies, set up by one of the more randy Fellows in an effort to attract vaguely spiritual young co-eds, but actually resulting in a surfeit of male would-be cult
leaders who cannot now be got rid of).

---

The Programme:

We are very fortunate that there will be a German Band in town who have agreed to perform for the
Institute at a discount from their regular rates, owing to their having to get their liederhosen aired out  anyway for  an appearance at some Teutonic festival held  at a small town north of here about that time.

Papers will be read at the Morning Session, and following a light lunch, seminars will convene to
discuss the various topics with the presenters. As interest in these in the past has been desultory at best, no beer will be available until 4:00 p.m. It is contemplated that this may also aid in preventing another untoward incursion of Civil Authority on our grounds.

The Lighting of the Bonfire will take place promptly at 6:00 p.m. Excursions to the Nearby Wood to
obtain weenie-roasting sticks will be conducted by Dr. Rumsbuckle at 5:00 p.m. We regret to say that the local Boy Scout troop who aided the Fellows in this task last year have been forbidden by their parents to set foot on Institute property, although the lads seemed to truly enjoy the excitement, particularly the large Ladder-Truck and the activities of the HazMat Team. (vide infra)

Knives with which to whittle points will be available for supervised use. Unbent coathangers
may only be used with marshmallows.  Fellows and Guests are cautioned against running, playing leapfrog, etc. while carrying either. The lawn is home to numerous gophers and moles.

The Condiment Committee have agreed to add Durkee's Famous (tm) Sauce as well as Zatarain's
Cajun Mustard to the available weenie additives and amendments. Mr. Pruce-Layton's Motion to limit the availability of sauerkraut (vide infra ma non troppo) was defeated. He was also voted down on his Resolution against On-Premises Digestion. He did, however, receive a favourable vote on his request for funds with which to secure a Family  Size Bottle of Bean-O. It will be prominently featured at the Registration Desk.

For those interested,  or who remain lucid,  The Honourable Henry Wadlingford, M.A.  will conduct the usual concluding Seminar on the Philosophical Implications of  Things Past at his personal beer-keg near the fountain.

---

Last Year's WHIW-R in Review!

A High Point of last year's Festivity was the Demonstration, by Professors Tottlebaum (holding bellows) and Wedgehaven, of the untoward gastric Effects of
 the over-consumption of Sauerkraut. The Lecture Hall in the New Science Building was quickly cleared, except for  Senior Fellow Dr. Myles Ashcroft Covent-Sequard of the English Literature Faculty -- who thought he was witnessing a performance of a suppressed Comedy by the Earl of Rochester -- and Doktor Heinzkranz of the Department of Dubious Physiology, who said the entertainment reminded him of the beer-halls of his student days.

---

Unfortunately, as we all remember, last year's Weenie-Roast culminated in the Unpleasantness which the Press portrayed unnecessarily luridly, in our opinion. It was definitely a mistake to admit Townspeople, shown above wearing shabby hats or
caps.

How the Universal-Salvationist Preacher gained access to the Podium remains a mystery, although many say he was a right good speaker and made some clever, if a
bit overheated, points before the Police supervened. Our security firm, Sadler and
Welles,  promise to do a more thorough job this year.

---

RSVP NOW!!

Attendance is Purely Virtual;
Tee-Shirts might be created if we get around to it.

 

---

Woodland Hills Institute Finally Blogs Down

This way to the Egress, Citizens! And before you get there, Welcome to the Reborn Woodland Hills Institute, now in Blog form to suit the exigencies of Modern Times. Followers of Antique Microscopy might have encountered the Institute in days past, when we managed to construct a small and never-expanding site on AOL's old "Hometown" which we all know went by the wayside.

An Antique Microscopist



Of course, at the Institute we have been traditionally slow to embrace modern social encroachments, but the Fellows have decided to attempt to convey the transactions of the Institute to a Broader Public through this means, which is easy to use and Free.

Unfortunately, the Fellow who was originally designated to explore Social Media on behalf of the Institute succumbed to a sombre mania brought on by his work on the Riemann Zeta Function (a frequent hazard among Mathematicians at the Institute, for some reason; more on this later). He is improving, we are happy to say, and has stopped roaming the Grounds chasing imaginary zeroes with his butterfly net.  The Biology Department (from which he nicked the net) somewhat gloatingly points out that no one has ever gone mad on account of  Haeckel's Theorem.

In the posts ahead, we'll add hopefully useful features and links as well as keep you informed about the work and activities of the Institute. In fact, it's almost time for the annual WHI Weenie-Roast, which we considered postponing until the current political Furor quiets down, but decided not to. One of the Fellows pointed out that if that guy had learned to pronounce his name right it would be Why-ner not Wee-ner  -- which is almost as bad-sounding for a politician but at least lacks the puerile salaciousness associated with the latter pronunciation. (Several of the Fellows were Public School boys and know something about puerility).